Harold

By Sally Armour Wotton

“Oh, that tickles.” The mother raccoon lying on her side began to wiggle around. “You three stop that, you know I don't like to be tickled… 1 2 3 … 4? Four?”

“Oh, mum, come on he’s only tiny and his mom walked away from him, didn't even say goodbye and you have plenty of spigots, and we like him.”

So, the mother raccoon relented and continued to feed her three cubs plus this tiny, forlorn, abandoned kitten. They were fed their milk diet for quite some time until the awaited day arrived and the three cubs plus kitten followed their mother down to the waters edge where she taught them to move from a liquid diet to a more interesting one. She taught them to put their finger-like paws into the water to moisten their poms for flexibility and the cubs caught on very quickly. Kittencoon took quite a bit longer but eventually got the hang of it with the help of the others. They all sat up straight including the kitten. Mama had made it very clear that she thought pressing one’s face into one's food was disgusting.

The furries lived in the country at the edge of a summer stock company and their favorite activity was to visit the performances which were every evening and some afternoons. Mumcoon would lead them along the fence at the back of the theatre, single file with kittencoon bringing up the rear. It was never long before someone in the audience suddenly shouted, “look” and the whole audience turned around to look at the back of the theatre and saw the five animals silhouetted against the early evening sky. The furry ones were pleased with the attention and the audience loved the extra performance. Everyone was happy, except of course the players. The stage manager would come back to the fence and attempt to shoo them away but the furries would not shoo. They sat and stared back at the audience through their charming masks and kittencoon tried to adopt the same dignity as his new siblings but invariably wiggled his whiskers and scratched his ear. When all had enough of this performing, the mumcoon led her charges back along the fence and away, and the audience returned to the other show in progress. During the season two young men, players in the company, discovered kittencoon asleep at the foot of the tree that the raccoons called home. They began to bring the kitten some snacks and scratch his ears and talk to him. At the end of the season they came forth with a cat carrier, scooped him up, and put him in the van as all were packing to leave and go back to the city. The young cubs were very upset of course and ran to their mother and said, “they've taken our kitten!”

But she said, “not to worry, I go to the city every year. We're going along and you'll love it. They have something called a green bin which is a raccoon McDonald's and I'm sure you will enjoy our new home”.

As the players were saying goodbye to one another the cubs and their mother quietly slipped into the van and snuggled down underneath the costumes and props. Once in the city, the raccoons soon found a suitable tree and moved. Kittencoon moved into the apartment with the two young men and was immediately renamed Harold. He was amazed at the luxury of his new home – all the cushions and soft surfaces for long naps and he had his own dishes with food that came out of cans. He remembered his manners and sat up straight and dipped his paw into the food to bring to his mouth. He also saw that there were fun things to do - little knickknacks on the tables that he could flick off and chase as they rolled away. There were plenty of dirty socks on the floor which he dutifully picked up one at a time and put into the toilet and washed. One day one of the young men was soaking in the tub with the shower curtain closed having a lovely relaxing afternoon when Harold, hearing the water splashing, leaped into the tub much to the surprise and shock of the young man. But soon the humans and Harold became accustomed to each others unusual characteristics and settled into a very pleasant lifestyle. The only problem was that the two young men had day jobs which meant that Harold found himself all alone all day long and Harold was an extremely social being. He was always let out in the morning as the humes and Harold agreed that litterboxes were unacceptable. Harold noticed there were other people in the neighbour whom he could visit and so stopped returning to his home in the mornings when called. He spent the day socializing before a quick visit to mum and the cubs and then home for dinner.

He had learned a few things from the actors in the summer stock company and thought Oliver Twist will be my role.  As he mewed at the door you could almost hear the words, “please, sir, can I have some more?” He was invariably lead in and he found a whole new selection of foods, cushions and people who stayed home all day. He liked this new arrangement very much, and so did the neighbors. But the two young men, who had never met their neighbours, became increasingly annoyed with the fact that their cat seemed to be stolen by them. They also noticed that Harold was getting chubbier and chubbier and in fact downright fat. So, they put a note on his collar which read DO NOT FEED ME.  The neighbors soon realized Harold did not agree with this note so they ignored it.  One day when Harold was visiting a neighbor it began to snow quite heavily and the neighbor thought there was no way they would put Harold out in the snow so Harold spent the night. Well, this was his last straw for the two young men and they wrote a long letter which they delivered to all the mailboxes demanding that their neighbors stop inviting Harold into their homes and stop feeding him! The neighbors became a bit concerned because their neighbourhood had always been a warm and friendly one and they felt that their attention to Harold was creating a rift with the two young men whom they had yet to meet and, so, they decided why not have a party for the friends of Herold and invite all who know him. The two young men, who were dubious at first and resistant to the idea of a party, were overcome by curiosity and wanted to meet those who seemed to like Harold as much as they did.
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The party was planned, there was tuna casserole topped with kibble croutons and garnished with catnip. There were balloons that bounced around the room easily punctured with a claw making a very satisfying pop. One neighbor brought wind up mice that would skitter across the floor. Harold was startled to see all of his friends together in one room at the same time but he'd always assumed that humans were a bit magical anyway so he took it in stride. At the end of this very successful party the neighbours had become much better acquainted with one another and got to know the two young men who agreed that Harold should be allowed to visit the neighbors and be offered refreshments but no junk food. One more decision was made that there should be a Friends of Harold party at least annually.
The two young men were cast in a touring show and Harold went along, of course, but that's another story.

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