I’m growing old and it shocks me. We know from the age of two that we are likely to get older and older and older. At first, it’s exciting, then challenging, then somewhat concerning. Finally reality kicks in and knocks our support socks off! A subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle ageist attitude confronts us and we see clearly that our self-image is no longer, if it ever was, the image we project. In my mind I’m a performer, a teacher, a writer, a neighbour and an all-round competent person! I just happen to be old. Little story – the other day, I slowly but successfully trundled my big recycling bin down from the side of the house to the curb, feeling like a regular person who had just well-managed a slightly cumbersome weekly job. As I perfectly positioned the bin on the sidewalk, a stranger approached me and said, “Can I help you?” I looked at the completed task and, smiling, replied, “With what?” He then repeated his question (more loudly) and I cheerfully, but firmly, repeated my reply. At which he said, “All you have to say is no!!” and he left. My first thought was that when I step out I am often not seen as a neighbour or a fellow recipient of a lovely day but as a two-dimensional old person who exists, now, only to receive help. After some reflection, my second thought was that the stranger so needed to provide help that he couldn’t see the other person’s real need. We didn’t take the cues from each other and so were unable (unwilling) to be helpful to each other. He didn’t lift my spirit (or ego) and I didn’t appreciate his gesture or improve his impression of the aged! – a missed opportunity for both of us. Reaching out to touch the other’s point of view, whether it be about climate change, generational differences or any other justice issue, may be the most important challenge of our time. Here is a story that is not a parallel to this one but is a tale to remind us that with faith and a sense of agency all things are possible even for the very old! Sarah's Story
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