Me and Mildred

Me and Mildred: Diary of a Raccoon

Episode Two

By Sally Armour Wotton

Well, here we are still settled in our big ol Manitoba maple next door to the Humes. The kids, Berty, Osmond and Nel, have really grown over the last little while and me and Mil are wondering if we might soon need a bigger place.

The Humes have made quite a racket of late renovating our old place which they call the attic. Mil thought it was perfect the way it was but different strokes for different folks. They’ve even put in a bathroom up there. We wanted to tell them all they have to do is step out on the roof when it rains but even when you can see the obvious it’s best not to interfere.

The workmen play their radio nice and loud and we’ve developed a taste for listening to the news. It sounds to us like something has gone badly wrong. First, there was something called the pandem-ich, during which the Humes hardly went anywhere When they did they all took to wearing masks! Mil says, “Imitation is the highest form of praise” but, flattering as that is, it’s just going too far. They’ll be wearing bushy tails next!

One night young Bertie brought little Willie home, by the scruff of his neck, thinking he was the mitten that got lost last winter. But Mil reckoned Willie was a young furry bird chaser abandoned by his mother. Mil, being kind-hearted the way she is said, “There’s nothing for it he’ll stay right here with us.” Mil got straight to work teaching him to scrub his ears and whiskers in the bird bath. He struggled and fussed, even yowled, at first, but soon got the hang of it.

The other day while we were napping, little Willie slipped in through the Hume’s back door and seems to fit right in with them. They all wash their hands even more often than we do and they sing Happy Birthday at the same time . . . Willie’s .working on that.
He comes out regularly to keep us up to date with what the Humes are up to. I’m rather interested in this ZOOM they’re doing, though it may not be for us - we never have been fast movers.

But me and Mil are concerned and not about the pandem-ich. Our tree home feels tense and Mil’s back foot is twitching. The radio keeps talking about the climate change – apparently Humes use too much fossil (whatever that is) and they wrap everything up in plastic and then throw the plastic into the sea! They cut down whole forests of trees to make more room for cows. They pour poison on to plants and bugs and do such horrible things to so many creatures that Me and Mil can’t bear to think of it. And now the old, old ice is melting. Mil says the Humes don’t realize that this old, old ice holds our stories, our memories and our map for the future. If she melts away the Earth will remain but the Humes and so many others will not. If only Humes would stop trying to fix it and just be in awe.

Trouble is it will take just about every Hume on Earth to make the changes that will solve the problem and the Humes know how BUT they’re not good at working together in one direction and that’s the catch – they have to! Mil, who is really smart, thinks if they put their minds together (fast!) with their know-how and their hearts (and their ZOOM) they can do it!

Meanwhile, me and Mil and all the other non-Humes just watch and listen. And we trust the Humes to save the beautiful home we share.

Read Episode One:
Good Neighbours