 Pinocchio Script
( SET UP - sign “Pinocchio Puppet Biggest Liar Contest Puppeteer dons Pinocchio / Fred Fossil puppet head, putting kazoo in mouth, tongue in pocket and length of nose over one shoulder Props: certificate, prop drill, tongue, kazoo, prop-mic, real mic and clip board) Pinocchio : (enters causiously, drill in hand, when seeing that no one is around he begins to drill in several directions, drill sound with puppeteer’s tongue and lips) Interviewer: Enters from audience saying, “There you are Mr Fossil” (puppet quickly drops drill) Interviewer: (standing next to Fred and addressing the audience) Good morning, everybody! Welcome to the Pinocchio contest. We’re down to our final contestant today in the biggest liar contest: Mr. Fred Fossil. Do you mind if I call you Fred? It’s an honour to meet you. Let’s get started shall we? Here are the rules. I ask you a question and you simply answer yes or no. Are you ready? Fred: (turns to Interviewer and slowly nods yes) Interviewer: (looking at Fred) Canada has had a record number of forest fires over the past two years including smokey air in Toronto. Scientists and environmentalists say that fossil fuels are the cause of the forest fires raging across Canada this summer. Is this true? Fred: (vigorously nods NO, blows kazoo followed by nose growing a few inches) Interviewer: (addressing Fred) Health sources say that pollution caused by fossil fuels is causing premature death and chronic disease, heart disease, CPD, stroke, asthma, diabetes, and dementia to name just a few. Is this true? Fred: (vigorously nods NO with kazoo sound and then nose grows several more inches) Interviewer: Phew ! I’m feeling the hot air coming from you already! Fred: ( turns to interviewer and sticks out tongue) Interviewer: The Canadian Climate Institute says that Environmentalists are saying that sustainable renewable energy: like wind, solar and water can not only meet our energy needs, but are cheaper than fossil fuels. Is this true? Fred: (starts to slowly nod yes then switches to vigorous No with kazoo – nose grows several more inches then Fred turns sharply to Interviewer bopping her with his nose causing her to jump) Interviewer: Are you getting free, prior and informed consent before you extract minerals and resources from Indigenous land? Fred: (vigorously nods yes – nose grows a few more inches) Interviewer: Among your many talents, is greenwashing. Is it true that you can “decarbonize” oil ? Fred: (nods a vigorous YES, blows kazoo and nose grows final many inches) Interviewer: Is it true that you’re advising people who are overheated to go jump in the lake ? Fred: (sticks tongue out at audience) Interviewer: I think we have a winner here. We’ve all seen the other contestants, many outstanding bank executives! Has Mr. Fred Fossil been the “Biggest Liar” of them all? Give a good shout if you think so!! (encourage audience to respond) And here is your certificate to prove it! (Interviewer hangs certificate on Fred’s extended nose) Fred: (looks proud and blows extended kazoo)
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